Loose Leaf Tarot

Only in dreams


When I was growing up, I always had really vivid dreams. Sometimes they seemed relevant to my life, but often they were just bizarre or fun or even scary. Occasionally, I’d decide to keep a dream journal (I’m particularly fond of one entry in which 8-year-old me flies the Millennium Falcon). The journals never stuck, though, because I didn’t really need to write my dreams down to remember them.

But somewhere along the way, I stopped recalling my dreams at all. I always assumed this had to do with sleep cycles, that in adulthood my cycles had changed so that I never woke up at the right time to hold on to anything. Eventually I got over it, and kind of forgot what it was like before (there’s a metaphor in there…).

Then about two months ago, things changed again. Gradually, I realized I was remembering my dreams! Every morning! I could once again revel in the ridiculousness and uncanny profundity of my sleeping mind! During the last few days I dreamed about riding with an airline pilot who decided to fly the plane upside down, just for a change of pace. I dreamed I was in a daring underground resistance group fighting spooky alien overlords. I even dreamed about boring shit like packing boxes, which I recently spent a lot of time doing while I was awake (thanks for the replay, brain, really).

Maybe this has nothing to do with my rekindled tarot practice. But I suspect that the sudden re-emergence of my dreams is linked to the time I’ve been spending paying attention to my subconscious, to all the stuff my brain is capable of under the surface.

When we give dedicated space and energy to the more freeform, creative parts of our psyche, maybe we train ourselves to notice that under-layer all the time. Or at least a lot more of the time. And even if our subconscious isn’t always up to the most fascinating tasks (see above re: packing), it’s always up to something, puttering away as we process and create our lives. Tapping into that part of me has made me feel more child-like, more wonder-full, and lots of other mis-spelled, made-up, hyphenated things.

If tarot can help me be more aware of the stuff happening below my particular surface, I’m happy about this side effect. And if it’s just a coincidence, I hope it sticks. Maybe the answer will come to me in a dream.



2 thoughts on “Only in dreams

  1. I have been dreaming more lately too. Perhaps because I am daily playing with my cards or something entirely else. Last night I dreamed I had to paint a lenormand deck for beginners with 36 versions of the clover card so the deck would bring luck to every one who would buy it …… ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Ha! That would be a great service to humanity. And either really boring, or really fascinating… how do you make 36 different versions of the same thing? A highly philosophical dream.

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