Lately, it feels like court cards are coming up an awful lot when I do readings, sneaking in no matter what question I’m contemplating or what story I’m trying to explore. They turn up in the simplest spreads and the most complex. I’ll be hoping for a poignant major card to reveal itself, so I can smile knowingly while feeling wise and connected to deep universal truths, like a real tarot reader. But instead, here’s yet another page or queen, looking smug, forcing me to think up even more possible meanings for these images I’ve been seeing over and over for weeks.
(I get it, court cards. I’ve always shunned you a bit, and now that I’m listening, you have all sorts of things to tell me about what’s up with my shit. Okay. Just stop trying to forcibly take over my blog, maybe?)
Today when I threw my cards, the story was one that comes up a lot for me. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve got a very swords-heavy personality. But I’ve always been drawn to the wands, in real life as well as in tarot. Wands people are warm and sharp at the same time, like a shot of cinnamon liquor. They make you feel like something special is happening no matter what, and like you’re right in the middle of it. Or at least, they’re right in the middle of it, and maybe if you’re lucky you’ll be along for the ride.
I always wanted to be a wands person, as long as I can remember. There’s a little bit of it in me. But if I’m a court card, I’m the Page of Swords – perpetual student, in love with ideas, but prone to analyzing so much that nothing ever gets done with them. A little cool and prickly, without meaning to be. My dagger-wit is my most prized possession, after all.
Today’s spread was simple: current energy, embrace, release. I’ve been seeing a lot of the Page of Wands, and there she is again, reversed because the past week has been a bit like hiking in a bog after a couple previous weeks of momentum! and inspiration! Right now, I am definitely not the Queen of Wands, the card I almost-secretly wish I could be.
Here’s another thing. I will almost certainly never, ever be the Queen of Wands. Maybe the Page, a bit.
That’s probably okay. Wanting to be something so different from my nature is a drive I should let go of. I know this, I’ve learned it repeatedly in countless different ways. But I still have to remind myself of it. Or be reminded, when I let that knowledge slide.
It might seem like certain ways of being a human are inherently better, sexier, more fulfilling. Cinnamon is zingy and delicious! Liquor makes you feel giddy! But some of us are cool, with a quieter bite, like well-brewed iced tea. Sometimes iced tea is exactly what you need.
Be a page or a queen, cool or warm. Even if you’re not wearing a crown, don’t forget that it takes all the cards to make up the full court.